Revenge, Sweet Revenge!
by Master Tonberi
Summary: Do you hate the Chocobo Trainer as much as I do? I thought so. Otherwise, there's no reason to read this...


Thursday, March 14, 2002  
  
  
  
Revenge, Sweet Revenge  
  
'Some day you'll hold the record . . . some day you'll hold the record . . . some day you'll hold the record . . .' The words of the Chocobo Trainer echoed in Tidus's mind. He'd been racing from sun up to sun down for the past three days. Some times the race was great and he'd push ahead of her, not letting her get any of the balloons. Some times she'd cut him off and he'd catch nothing but her tail feathers.  
  
Today's last race had been a particularly crippling blow. His Chocobo, though being nudged to the right, jumped to the left in a fit of convulsions at the start. That had given the Chocobo Trainer plenty of time to dash ahead of him, while he was left fighting for control of the bird. As if that weren't enough, once he finally caught up with her, she deftly dodged those damned birds and he got hit by every one of them. He'd never had a race go that badly. And it was going to be the last time.  
  
"It's that bird." He muttered. He paced behind Rin's travel agency, away from the others and the fire. "There's gotta be something wrong with that . . . giant chicken. That's it. It's gotta be fixed. Some how. . . I mean, it's like I get the crack-baby runt of the litter and she gets the best one. And no matter how many times I race it, the damned thing NEVER gets any better!" He paced and paced, creating a small trench beneath his feet. Suddenly, an idea hit him. He punched his hand and laughed. "I've got it! I've got it!"  
  
He ran madly to the mini-blitzball globe, ignoring the exclamations and questions of his fellow guardians.  
  
"Cid'll help me! I know he will!"  
  
~*~  
  
Yuna became worried when she saw Tidus dash to the airship's teleporter like that. She became even more concerned when he didn't come down for over a day. . .  
  
~*~  
  
"I'm back!" Tidus shouted. He appeared next to Rin's travel agency, startling the others. He ran to the Chocobo Trainer and pointed at you. "I challenge you! I challenge you to a race!" The woman looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and smirked.  
  
"Very well. If you insist." She whistled for a chocobo to join them. Grinning madly, Tidus leapt upon the chocobo and headed for the top of the cliff. The Chocobo Trainer, as if to humor him, let him get their first. Imagine her surprise at what she saw awaiting her.  
  
Something metallic gleamed at the top of the cliff. The sunlight bounced off it, and confused her. She couldn't figure out just what it was. . . until she got closer.  
  
"Chocobo . . . armor?" She asked. Surely enough, the bird was bedecked, head to claw, in some sort of Al Bhed-ish armor. She shook her head. "No matter what you do, you can't cheat and make it go faster. That's against the rules."  
  
"Ohhh, it's not gonna go faster. In fact, it may go slower." Tidus chuckled. Something in the look of his eyes disturbed the Chocobo Trainer. However, if he admitted that it might make him slower, well, that was his own funeral. . . She shrugged and saddled up next to him.  
  
"Are you ready?" She asked and he nodded. "Well then. 3 . . . 2 . . . 1!" And they set off.  
  
He was right, she noticed. He wasn't any faster with that gussied up bird. She skillfully dashed to the right, towards the balloons and him. As per usual, she pushed her away in front of him and he continued to shoulder he way up next to her. Suddenly, her chocobo squawked as if injured and stopped. Tidus dashed ahead and the Trainer looked up, almost swearing she saw some sort of spike retreat into the armored chocobo's wing. She shook her head and spurred her chocobo on.  
  
It didn't take long for her to round the bend and catch up with him. Despite his lead, he hadn't grabbed many balloons, and she got those he didn't. She gained on him rather quickly, and decided to get him back for that little trick earlier. She urged her chocobo forward and past him, avoiding the wings. She looked up and saw three seagulls headed their way. With a leering grin, she guided her chocobo away from the birds, letting them head straight towards Tidus. She heard the smack as he was hit by one and stunned.  
  
Tidus thought it would be best to let her think she had the lead. That's why he didn't get too upset when she sidestepped the seagulls and he got hit. It was more than enough to let her think she had the upper hand. He quickly caught up with her, and turned sharply enough onto the last stretch to become ahead of her.  
  
Then, four birds soared from the crevasse ahead of him. The Chocobo Trainer laughed to herself—no matter which way he went, a seagull or two'd hit him.  
  
At least, that was her thought, until something strange happened. Tidus stood up a bit on his chocbo, and suddenly, two small missile silos unfolded from his saddle. Eight missiles on each side unfolded, lighting up and screaming from their holders. The first three birds were demolished, leaving charred feathers fluttering down. The last seagull shrieked and frantically tried to out run the last four missiles as Tidus crossed the finish line. He pulled his chocobo to a stop, turning to see the look on the Trainer's face.  
  
The only look on her face was utter horror as the last seagull, still being chased by four missiles, headed her way. She tried to dodge it, tried to get out of it's way, but failed as her own chocobo panicked.  
  
Even Tidus flinched at the impact.  
  
~*~  
  
"Is. . . is she going to be okay?" Rikku asked. The guardians and their summoner gathered around the unconscious woman. Rikku had found a stick and poked at her. The now well-cooked bird and its trainer were lying on the ground, Xs for eyes and out it.  
  
"Rikku." Auron said. "Don't . . . don't poke at her like that. It's rude."  
  
"Ah-HA!" Tidus shouted. He had been studying the Trainer for a few minutes. Just when everyone thought he was adding insult to injury by reaching into her coat to molest her, he drew back out the Sun Sigil.  
  
"That's what makes it all worth it!" Tidus said, grinning and striking a heroic pose. The wind gently blew his hair about.  
  
"Tidus. . . you scarin' me, man." Wakka muttered. 


End file.
